I hate Christian Morality

Did the title catch your attention? LOL! Just shows how annoyed I am! A close friend and our long time unicorn...We'll now call her Elvira (more on her later) is donating some time next week to a charitable organization. Out of the goodness of this woman's heart she is donating her time to help out people in need. Now a mere 5 days before she leaves to fly off to the location they serve her with a Code of Conduct Contract!!!!! Now the charity that she is helping has Christian ties (which is obvious when you read the contract) and we all understand that there is a time and a place for everything. But is it REALLY necessary to have the people who are selflessly helping you sign a contract saying that they will follow what you believe to be moral.

I was raised Catholic. I went to Catholic school all my life. Which is probably why this shit bothers me so much. It is people pushing their morals and their agenda off on everyone else as opposed to allowing people to make their own judgment. Below is the contract Elvira had to sign followed by my revision. I have changed the names so that I don't get my ass sued but the rest of the content is verbatim from the "contract". Enjoy

ORIGINAL

Personal responsibility
When you join a BULLSHIT ORGANIZATION work team, we ask that you maintain a celibate lifestyle if unmarried or, if married, that you stay within the bonds of marital fidelity. Developing an inappropriate physical relationship with a host representative or members of your team has a negative impact on other work project participants. Such contact polarizes and distracts a team from its purpose, which is to develop strong and committed team dynamics capable of sharing the mission and ministry of CHRISTIAN CHARITY ORGANIZATION with each other and the host community. Every team member is an integral part of the experience, so invest in your team and together be love and faith in action. Respect your team by refraining from inappropriate sexual contacts or “field romances.” Spouses traveling together who find themselves wanting for normal marital relations, however, should be aware that adequate free time and privacy most likely will be difficult to obtain.

Please also remember that issues relating to sexuality in some foreign countries may be dealt with in ways that are drastically different from what you are accustomed to. For instance, some sexual acts are illegal in some countries, and a violation of these prohibitions may result in fines or imprisonment.

The incidence of sexually transmitted disease can also be extremely high in some countries. It is especially important to be culturally sensitive to issues relating to sexuality when dealing with children or the beneficiaries of work projects. Seemingly innocent or harmless physical contact may be viewed as offensive in some foreign countries. For instance, a simple gesture of affection, such as a hug or kiss, may be inappropriate within another culture. While your team leader and host coordinator will provide you with important information regarding culturally appropriate behavior and relations, you may also wish to consult other sources to ensure that you have a clear understanding of what type of behavior is acceptable within the host community.

MODIFIED

Sexual responsibility
When you join a Wildcardz play team, we ask that you maintain a hedonistic lifestyle if unmarried or, if married, that you not stay within the traditional bonds of “marital fidelity”. Developing a physical relationship with a host representative or members of your team has a positive impact on other participants. Such contact unifies and energizes a team and its purpose, which is to develop physical and sexual team dynamics capable of sharing the passion and excitement of Wildcardz with each other and the host community. Every team member is an integral part of the experience, so invest in your team and together be sex and passion in action. Respect your team by engaging in, what some may consider, inappropriate sexual contacts or “field romances.” Spouses traveling together who find themselves wanting for normal marital relations, however, should be aware that adequate free time and privacy will be available when they return home. This trip is exploring new things and new people.

Please also remember that issues relating to sexuality in some foreign countries may be dealt with in ways that are drastically different from what you are accustomed to, so feel free to indulge in all that foreign cultures have to offer. For instance, some sexual acts are illegal in some countries, and a violation of these prohibitions may result in fines or imprisonment so be sure to do them in secrecy. Remember what happens in secrecy stays that way.

The incidence of sexually transmitted disease can also be extremely high in some countries thus we encourage you to use safer sex measures. It is especially important to be culturally sensitive to issues relating to sexuality when dealing with children or the beneficiaries of work projects which is why this trip is adults only and the privacy of it’s participants is our highest priority. Seemingly innocent or harmless physical contact may be viewed as offensive in some foreign countries if those viewing the acts are not encouraged to join the action. For instance, a simple gesture of affection, such as a hug or kiss, may be inappropriate within another culture if not done with three or more people. While your team leader and host coordinator will provide you with important information regarding culturally appropriate behavior and relations, you may also wish to play with other sources to ensure that you experience all that the host community has to offer.

We hope you enjoy your time your time with the Wildcardz play team and tell all those uptight pricks who scoff our lifestyle to remove the Washington Monument size stick from there ass and go get laid.

This maybe a useless rant but Oh well I'm venting.

~Jack

Jacks Dilemma

The past few months have been a whole new level of CRAZY. That coupled with the fact that we’ve been keeping things “mostly” quiet because of the pregnancy hasn’t really inspired me to post anything new on this blog. That being said I’ve been keeping up on a bunch of other blogs; Living vicariously through their stories. Although some of the stories were a bit tough for me to understand.

Mrs. Cardz and I have always played together. Very few times have we ever played in separate rooms. And there has really only been one couple that we have felt comfortable enough with to go out on “separate dates” with. So when I read blogs about swingers who have turned to open relationships, where each member of the couple is free to date outside of the couple, I’m haven’t been entirely comfortable with the idea.

That’s not to say I disapprove. If nothing else this lifestyle has taught me that every relationship is different and that just because I feel something isn’t right for me doesn’t mean it’s not right for someone else. I know that and respect that. And this time last year I never would have considered seeing people outside of my wife or couples dating. However this past year has changed a lot of things for Mrs. Cardz and I.

With Mrs. Cardz being pregnant her sex drive has become non-existent. Everyone told me to expect a few lulls followed by a sexual spike towards the end. We’ve witnessed the lack of drive but are still waiting for said spike. I have been very patient and caring during this pregnancy. (If I do say so myself) So you can imagine my surprise when, last night, Mrs. Cardz told me I should go find someone to have sex with on the side.

She said that she knows that I have needs and although I’ve been really cool through this pregnancy she wants to make sure I am taken care of. She said that she has little to no sex drive any more and to force herself to have sex would just seem fake and she knows that I would pick up on that. She’s right too. I would never force my wife to do ANYTHING! And for her to force herself would just come across as a fraud.

So here I am considering my options, my relationship guidelines and my “morals”. Is this something I want to do? Is this something I can do? If I decide to go down this path who would I want to hook up with?

Considering the local women I have slept with that I could see sleeping with again I have narrowed it down to three. Our once unicorn is one. However after a strange situation this past weekend I think she’s off my dance card for a while. Mrs. Quaker is one. I know full well that the very generous Quakers would always be up for helping me out. The issue there is Mrs. Quaker and Mrs. Cardz share a brain and most likely a libido. I can almost guarantee that Mrs. Quaker’s sex drive has followed Mrs. Cardz’ suit. (Sorry Mr. Quaker) Considering that and the fact that live quite a bit away doesn’t really lend itself to a regular possibility.

The last woman on my list of possibilities is also a close friend. Her boyfriend has been trying to set us up on a date for quite a while. They live relatively close by and I know Mrs. Cardz feels comfortable with them both. The issue is scheduling. They both work weekends and some nights while we work during the week. We MIGHT be able to pry a window open to get out maybe once or twice but that’s about it.

My last option is to find someone new an idea that makes me more then a bit uneasy. I haven’t been on a “singles” date in over 12 years. I wouldn’t even know where to start. And trying to wind a person who not only am I attracted to and Mrs. Cardz feels comfortable with but someone who can understand and respect our position sounds Damn Near impossible.

I’m not saying I’m totally invested in this idea. In fact I may still be in shock from Mrs. Cardz bringing it up. I’m just running through my options, my concerns, and the possibilities.

Wish Me Luck

~Jack

What In The World Happened To You ~The Offspring

After reading Deviant’s post a few moment’s ago, I realized I have been horribly neglecting this blog lately. For that I apologize. With the summer comes a ton of family events and responsibilities, couple that with the pregnancy, the house remodel, and the increase in stress at both of our jobs, we just haven’t had time nor felt like writing lately.

Although INSANELY busy (the thought of which is giving me a headache) we have found time to have some fun. We went to a house party this past weekend. After the week we had had we NEEDED to get out. It was an Awesome Time! And our friends have a BEAUTIFUL house. The hot tub was going but Mrs. Cardz obviously can’t go in it. (Not matter how much she may have wanted to. We don’t want to boil the baby.)

Mrs. Cardz is obviously showing now and we got more then a few comments while at the party. The one thing we LOVE about this group is that they are SO easy going. Not one person made a negative comment about being pregnant and at a lifestyle event. (We have had negative comments before from other people)

We still go out and have a good time. We just don’t always play. I am a FIRM believer in going at everyone’s own pace. And Mrs. Cardz pace right now is to only play with a few of our closest friends. Which is fine by me. We’re not sure how much longer she is going to feel comfortable playing at all so we will do whatever (read: whoever) she is comfortable with.

Which leads me to a strange occurrence…I got a message from Mrs. Quaker this morning. Apparently they are without children this week and are interested in a booty call. I’m not sure if she had mentioned this to Mr. Quaker yet. (In fact he may just be finding out now as he reads this.) Seems they are going to come over one night this week. They help with the remodel a bit, than we’ll eat, shower, and …see where the night takes us. Since Mrs. Quaker and Mrs. Cardz share a brain I’m sure my wife will be interested but we’ll definitely be running this all past her first.

We have a few vacations coming up. One of which we’ve already started preparing for. (Yet another reason I haven’t written lately.) I’m also taking a trip to California at the end of the month for business. (Although I’m not against meeting up with some like minded people for drinks.) I’m leaving Mrs. Cardz in the ever attentive hands of the Quakers. Not that she needs someone to watch over her. It just worked out that she’ll be staying with them while I’m gone. (Have Fun!)

In other news I’m working on a new set of articles for Gentle Nibbles. Not entirely sure if the subject matter or style of writing will be worthy of their site but we shall see. If they choose not to post the articles on their site I will be more then happy to post them on here.

That’s all for now. I’ll try to write some more soon.

~Jack

Follow the White Rabbit

Mentally preparing myself to have a kid has been extremely difficult and internally conflicting. To the point that I don’t know if this post is going to make any sense or if it’s just going to turn into a jumble of six or seven stream of conscious thoughts.

I know that I do not fully understand the impact that this child will have on me. And I’m pretty sure I will not understand until it has already happen but some changes (which I’m sure will occur) I just can’t see happening at this time. For instance I was talking with a friend the other day. She being the mother of two boys had just gotten back from a day trip to some sort of Train Amusement Park and she said something along the lines of “That’ll be you some day.” I retorted that “Nah, I’m not a fan of trains.” Her response kind of irked me. She said “It doesn’t matter if you like them. If your kids like them then you’ll do it.” I quickly ended the conversation after she said that. Thinking to myself “Why would I do something that I don’t want to do.” Selfish, I know. But for the last 12 years it’s been Mrs. Cardz and I against the world. We have just done whatever we want whenever we want.

Now I don’t consider myself a selfish person but I can’t help but feel bad about my thought process during that conversation. Although on one hand I still agree with it. Now, I’m sure all of this will change once the baby is born. I’m sure thoughts of myself will fade and hopes for the baby will fill that void but I’m a bit afraid that that won’t be the case and that I will resent our decision to have a child because I can’t think about myself anymore.

Now the odd part about all this is as I am writing this post I am looking at baby furniture online, reading up on 2nd trimester information, and I just got done updating the website we set up to keep our friends and family up-to-date on the pregnancy. I know, I am one conflicted soon to be father.

I have little doubts that I could be a Great Father. I just need to learn to stop thinking about me and start thinking about others. Mainly my soon to be born child. I have always thought about Mrs. Cardz; Her feeling, her thoughts, her desires. And maybe that is because I love her. Maybe the reason I can’t take into consideration that baby’s feelings, thoughts, and desires is because I have not et met the little one to fall in love with him/her.

I have heard the adage that ‘Women become Mothers when they find out they are pregnant but Men become Fathers when they first see the baby’. And maybe this internal turmoil is what they mean by that. I care about Mrs. Cardz well being (that’s for sure) and the health of the unborn child but perhaps I won’t truly love the baby until it is born.

For now I’m going to go look at car seats. ;)

One conflicted and slightly scared Soon-to-be-Father

~Jack

Holy Hell Where Does the Time Go

I know in my last post I said that I would have less time to post on this blog however I didn’t expect there to be almost a month between posts. In actuality I only made that comment to cover my ass in case I did not find time to actually post. I didn’t expect it to really happen.

In any case life has been crazy lately. With birthdays every other day in the months of April and May, (including yours truly) I spend more time at my computer buying gifts then working on my creative outputs.

Along the lines of creative outputs I find myself rushing to wrap up a project I’ve been working on for a little over a year now. With the impending arrival of a Jack (or Alice) we have begun talking about a nursery and our plans for it’s design. Since we won’t know which layout to go with until we know the baby’s gender, I have a bit more time to wrap up my first project but my excitement seems to be getting the better of me.

Speaking of the approaching spawn, (Yes I know my thoughts are all over the place today) we had our first major doctor’s appointment yesterday. Looks like everything is progressing properly. Both mother and peanut are doing fine. We got a few pictures and the doctor was trying to point out the babies features on the black and white sheet of gloss paper however to me it looked like a photo taken of the moon from a DEEP orbit. In any case, I was VERY happy and excited to hear everything was going well.

One thing I did learn, however, is although this is going to be a long 7 months for me it’s going to be MUCH longer for our doctor. Yesterday was the first time I had met Mrs. Cardz’ OBGYN and it quickly became obvious that she can not handle my sense of humor. That’s not to say she got upset or anything. It’s just that I would throw my jokes and remarks out there to lighten the mood and EVERY TIME I caught her off guard and she’d lose her train of thought. Most of the time she’d just laugh and lose track of what she was saying but once or twice she’d literally stare blankly at me like her brain was trying to catch up to where I was. I found it hysterical! I have found my target for the next year. Hehehe!

Anyway I’m off to check on my wife. I’ll try and post more soon

~Jack

Two of a Kind Working on a Full House

The title to this post is also the title of a Garth Brooks song. While I am not a huge fan of country music as a whole I do like a few of Garth’s songs. This one included. Since we took up the name “The Wildcardz”, three years ago, the song has stirred visions of Mrs. Cardz and I as parents. And if you’ve read my previous posts, you know whatever joy I felt towards that mental image was quickly replaced with fear and anxiety.

So imagine my surprise, last week, when that little piece of foreseeing plastic broadcasted our fate and I had feelings of joy and relief. I am to be a father. Even now the words seem almost foreign but conjure emotions of hope and happiness. I have always been a cautious person. Preparing for the worst yet hoping for the best. But now that my fate is all but sealed I have found myself reacting not I as I had expected.

We spent most of last weekend hanging out with the Quakers (FYI Mr. Quaker has sarcastically been saying that he is legally changing his name to this pseudonym) and other lifestyle friends. Mrs. Cardz had been abstaining from drinking alcohol because she “wasn’t feeling right”. By Sunday the four of us had come to the conclusion that my wife was indeed pregnant. So much so that, we spent hours at the bar discussing baby-like topics. Mrs. Cardz and I, slightly overeager to confirm our suspicions, called it an early night and raced home so she could pee on a Nostradamus inspired stick and as stated before it was positive.

A few blood tests last week and a few more this week and the early signs say Mrs. Cardz has been pregnant about a month now, with the baby due in early December.

Now we have chosen to keep this all a secret to our families for the next two months. My family is currently plagued with a black cloud of infertility and we don’t think our news would be received with the proper amount of excitement. And since we are waiting to tell my family we have decided to keep it from hers as well. We also want to make sure the pregnancy is on track and beyond the usually turbulent first trimester. Because most of our muggle friends are deeply intertwined within my family we must keep the news from them as well.

To quench our desire to scream this news from the highest rooftop we can find we decided to tell some of our swinger friends this past weekend. Since this pregnancy will no doubt effect our play habits and obviously will keep Mrs. Cardz from partaking of the normal toasts and shots. At times I laughed to myself about how it is we are so comfortable with these people that we have only know a year or so that we rush to tell them the news before we even inform our own families. The bonds we have made in the lifestyle are just like that I guess.

Anyway, our crazy weekends filled with debauchery are sure to slow down as we prepare for this new arrival. I will probably also have less time to work on this blog. But we’ll have to wait and see. If my posts are something you have been enjoying I recommend you add this page to your RSS reader or become a follower. That way when I do find time to post you’ll be the first to know about it.

Also, although I am not a religious person, if you are I recommend you pray to your respective deity. Cause any spawn of the Wildcardz is bound to have an extraordinary impact of the world as we know it.

One Potentially Proud Poppa,

~Jack

A Follow-Up Conundrum

Well this week although physically exhausting has caused more mental gymnastics then I ever thought possible. A harmless muggle BBQ turned into a flurry of questions and stories…I’m getting ahead of myself.

This past Saturday we decided to throw a party to celebrate the warm weather and our favorite professional sports team. The event was intended to be mostly muggles besides Mrs Cardz and I and the Quakers. Oh and another couple who although they called us out a few years back are not technically lifestylers. Also in attendance was the better share of my family.

All was going well for quite a few hours. The weather was great, the music was loud and we were laughing, drinking and eating to our hearts content. Another couple, friends of the Quakers showed up. Now we had never met this couple before but had heard about them. As Mr. Quaker was doing introductions he made it a point to introduce Mrs. Cardz and I as “friends”. The new couple easily picked up on the distinction however may have thought more people were included in that “friends” label besides just us. Perhaps assuming that my sister and her husband were swingers as well.

As the night drew on most people retreated inside to watch the game however the new couple, Mr. Quaker, and my brother in law stayed outside. I found out a few days later that some comments were made that may have given our secret away. Remember the other couple may have thought my brother in law was one of us. Mr. Quaker told me that my brother in law had remarked about trying to set my sister up with another woman.

Even more intriguing is the fact that my brother told me that my brother in law had told him (yeah I know rumor mill) that he and my sister had gone to a swingers party on Monday night! My first question was “Who the Hell throws a swinger party on Monday night?” followed closely by “And why weren’t we invited?”

Now all of this may be speculation but it raises a few questions. Now my Brother in Law is not the brightest light bulb in the box. He loves my sister and in the end that’s all that matters however I wouldn’t put it past him to try and coerce her into the lifestyle. Which may damage their relationship.

Whether my sister and her husband know our secret I can not say for sure but I almost want to out ourselves to them and give them advice on how to get into the lifestyle should they both wish to do so. It’s a strange situation that Mrs. Cardz and I find ourselves in. I’m almost positive that my sister and her husband would not be surprised if we told them but if all of the stories I’ve heard this week are true, is it the best course of action? We have been in the lifestyle for 3 years now and we have learned A LOT over that time. If they want to join the lifestyle that is their decision and I hope they would accept a bit of wisdom from us. On the same note though I don’t want them coming to any of the clubs or parties we go to. May be a bit strange to be playing with a couple, look over and see my sister, naked, in the distance. I’m Just Sayin!

~Jack

(As I was writing this my RSS Reader showed a post from Deviant and BB. Go check out their blog and see how another couple is handling a similar situation. Thanks for the plug guys. Stay Sexy!)

Strangely Anti-Climactic

Well last week my brother moved in with Mrs Cardz and I. His relationship with his wife has been on the rocks for a while and they recently decided to take a break for a bit. This saddens me greatly. I never really thought the two of them were perfect for each other however they do have children. I will NEVER tell a couple to stay together for the sake of their kids but I do feel bad because I know that if they do seek divorce it will be a brutal battle.

Anyway I digress. My brothers kids are staying with us a few nights a week and I have to admit the glimpse into fatherhood is still kind of scary. Where as I have fun playing with the little rugrats, they just have WAY TOO MUCH energy. I can spend a week in Cancun getting 3 hours sleep each night (sometimes less) and still be the life of the party but these kids drain my power in 1 maybe 2 days tops.

It is because of this that we decided to go out to a bar on Friday night. Even invited my brother along to celebrate his new found (albeit temporary) freedom. Word spread quickly of our plans and soon there was a small army of us going out including the Quakers. The issue here is everyone that went whether muggle or swinger knew about our lifestyle EXCEPT my brother. Now when the idea of my brother moving in with us was initially proposed a few weeks back Mrs. Cardz stated that we may have to tell him about out lifestyle. Figuring we have a few events coming and not being able to invite him or tell him about it he may think something is up.

Anyway back to Friday, we hadn’t even gotten to the bar yet and Mr. Quaker started with his comments. Now my brother has met Mr. Quaker before and writes off most of his comments as joking and flirty. But some of what Mr. Quaker was saying was down right obvious. A few times he caught himself but others…not so much.

So the drinks were flowing, the music was pumping, and we’re all having a good time. Everyone is becoming more brazen with their jokes and comments. Finally I decide it’s better to be active then passive so I pull my brother aside. Mr. Quaker and V, our once unicorn, follow in tow. (The opposite of my intentions).. With my ever-present flair for the dramatic I inform him that “we’re swingers”. To which he responds “Yeah, so?”

WTF?! We put so much stake in this great secret of ours that we hide it from everyone in fear of them ostracizing us if they find out and when I make the “great reveal” to a man who’s known me almost my entire life the response I get is “Yeah. So?”. This marks the 2nd time that I have gotten a half-hearted response when laying our Cardz on the table. (All puns intended) and honestly I’m mildly disappointed.

A debate quickly arose which was more shocking then my brother’s unenthusiastic response. My brother, Mr. Quaker, and V began to discus which members of my family, they believe, already know about us and which would have the same response little bro did. Apparently almost all of my siblings know and most people believe my parents (who Mr. Quaker swears are the King and Queen of swinging) know as well.

At this point and time I’m about ready to throw caution to the wind and just come out to my family. That way it’s all out in the open and there is no more need for secrets or headaches. Mrs. Cardz and I are both in agreement, though, that her family would not be able to handle such a revelation. They are way too uptight and not nearly as easy-going as my family who apparently already know!

I have no interest in causing drama but I think we spend SO MUCH time and headache trying to keep secrets and hide what we do that it may just be easier to tell them and get it over with.

~Jack

Poppa on Being a Poppa

Well I didn’t get to write about this last week because I was swamped with getting ready for the weekend and work. Even so, I still wanted to touch on the conversation I had with Poppa.

Now to understand why this conversation was so enlightening and caught me so off guard you need to at least have a small understanding of Poppa. (Note: NO ONE will EVER completely understand Poppa. LOL) Poppa is easily one of the oldest members of our group. And although I’d never say it to him he’s about twice my age. Poppa says everything on his mind and tells it how it is. No Fear. No Regret. Him and his awesome wife are HARDCORE Party-ers. They have traveled the world and seen and done things that even I wouldn’t dare to imagine. Even though he is more then a bit rough around the edges he’s got a very kind heart and would kill for any member of our group at the drop of a dime.

With all that in mind let me return to the previous Friday. We’re all hanging out around the bar at our friend’s birthday party. I’m pouring drinks (like normal) Poppa’s beside me. I offer to get Mrs. Cardz a drink. She declines. Well Poppa’s on that in a second. Like I said he’s a hardcore party-er and wants to see everyone having a good time.

He jokingly says ”What are you Pregnant?” Mrs. Cardz and I both quickly protest. Much to my amazement Poppa replies “Why the Hell Not?”

Wait! What?

“Did you just ask why she ISN’T preggers?” I said

“Yeah” Poppa replies “I keep wondering why you two don’t have kids yet.”

Of all the people in the world I never would have expected Poppa to be one telling us to have kids. He’s the one that wants everyone to go out and party on the weekends. Why would he be asking us to give that up and have kids. So I say to him “Well we have too much fun coming out and partying with you guys we don’t want to give all this up by having kids.”

“What are you stupid?” He asks. (Again remember Poppa tells it how it is regardless of Political Correctness.) He continues “ Listen Grasshopper (Yeah he calls me Grasshopper. It’s a Long Story) You’re not a Douchebag. You come out and have a good time. You think just because you two got kids you’ll become a Douchebag. Sitting at home every weekend and never taking any time for each other.”

Never really though about it that way. I looked around the room and mentally did my own survey. Almost every couple that was there had at least one child. Sure some of the kids were older and could take care of themselves but the people standing around me had all been through what I expect to be the “tough years”.

I’m not saying I’m entirely Ready to have kids but Poppa certainly gave me a new perspective on it. Mrs. Cardz and I have a Great support system. We have great friends and families that would be more then happy to watch the kids while we take some time for each other.

I’m still concerned about losing our social life when we have kids but I’m sure we will find a comfortable balance.

~Jack

A Little Update on Jack

Well it was definitely an interesting weekend. Had a birthday party for a lifestyle friend of ours on Friday. Even in muggle situations like “birthday parties” swingers are still the best people to be around. They are just so out going and flirty. We can just be ourselves around lifestylers and not feel like we’re being judged. Mrs Cardz ended up walking around mostly topless all night and got more then a few “gawkers”. I spent most of the night socializing and pulling practical jokes. (It’s what I do) Also I had a VERY interesting conversation with the most unlikely of people, but more on that later.

Saturday we relaxed during the day and then went to our favorite professional sporting event in the evening. I have to say I am REALLY enjoying these remote control vibrators and I know Mrs. Cardz is too. I had been playing with the button trough most of the first half just to watch Mrs. Cardz squirm in her seat. Somehow during intermission the button went on in my pocket and stayed on. I wasn’t aware of this until 20 minutes later when Mrs Cardz accidentally stomped on my foot and I turned to see a smile cross her face and her eyes roll back in her head. She later told me that the energy and cheering of the crowd, coupled with her licking her ice cream cone (which she gets at every game) and the vibration of her seat, sent her whirling into a very intense orgasm. IT WAS HoT! (and definitely something I’ll be looking to repeat in the future. Still 3 more home games this season)

Sunday we did a bit of spring cleaning. Not very exciting but it needed to be done and since we’re going away this weekend we figured we should get it done now. We’re headed out on a roadtrip this weekend with the Quakers to check out a new party. They have been to this place once before and asked us to join them this time around. I know these guys and with the way the four of us are….Let’s just say 5 hours in the car (each direction) is going to get INTERESTING. When the packing instructions include putting toys in the glove compartment you know things are going to heat up.

I have one more post this week then hopefully I’ll have some HoT tales to tell you about this coming weekend.

~Jack

Friends in the Daytime Strangers at Night

A series of events lately has caused my to consider our journey in the lifestyle and it’s effects on our social life. Let’s turn back the sundial to three years ago. Mrs. Cardz and I had been together for 9 years. During that time we had the same group of friends. Sure people joined and faded from the group as time went on but the core was still the same. During a Very HoT summer wee took multiple trips to visit a couple from this group who had moved away because of business. Each visit became more erotic and more intense until we ended up as this promiscuous foursome, still part of the larger group better keeping to ourselves whenever we were together.

Sadly, the summer ended with an epic battle that would rival any of Greek or Roman mythology. Lines were drawn, alliances were made, and bloody was shed. (Metaphorically of course). When the dust settled Mrs. Cardz and I were left with “What The Fuck?!?” looks on our faces and a choice to make. We no longer felt connected to our friends. Their collective lives were taking them in a direction we had no wish to follow. We wanted to explore the world, our sexuality, and each other.

We set off to learn more about the swinging lifestyle. We still hung out with our muggle friends on occasion but in the mean time we were looking for more. Not knowing where to start we began by turning to the internet. We checked out articles, podcasts, and even a few dating sites. On occasion we’d virtually run into a couple that peeked our interest enough to meet them but nothing ever came of it. In fact most cases left us in awkward situations that we couldn’t wait to retreat from. We thus learned that “couples dating” was not for us.

Not sure what to do next, the strikingly beautiful Mrs. Cardz had the exquisite idea for us to take a vacation to a lifestyles driven resort. We found a group based around a lifestyles podcast heading to Desire in Cancun. We joined their forums and quickly became friends, even before meeting them in Mexico. This gave us lots of time to talk about our thoughts on the lifestyle, our hopes, fears, and fantasies. However, we had no one locally to share this with, other then each other.

We had an AMAZING time at Desire. We got to meet A LOT of cool people and try a few things we had been fantasizing about for more then a year. One of the couples we met there didn’t live necessarily close to our home but did travel to our area on occasion for hotel parties and promised to take us along the next time they went. We had a Great Time at the party but cut it a bit short because we had been flirting with this couple since we left Mexico and wanted to finally get a piece of them.

A few months went by and we began to drift away from our Cancun friends. We still stay in touch via the internet but without having them here (most thousands of miles away) we find we have less to talk about then the normal “How you doin?” And the muggle friends we had we could never have told them about our fantasies or what we did on vacation. In fact most of them don’t even know the true nature of our trip.

We decided to check out the party again. Figured we had been there before so we knew what to expect and we were at a point when we needed to get away and have some excitement. The night was great we had a lot of fun. We danced, we drank, we flirted, and we met a bunch of cool people.

Throughout this time we were happy with keeping our “little secret” hidden from our friends while we shared stolen hours of the night with people we rarely saw again. That all changed the morning after this party when we went to the hotels restaurant to replenish the vitamins we had lost the night before. After a few introductions and even more winks and nods to some other “early risers”, we sat down to eat with another couple. About midway through our meal a short and spunky woman, who we have previously referred to as Mrs. Quake-r turned chair towards us. Leaving her table and husband to discuss business which we could tell she was bored with.

Almost instantly Mrs. Cardz and Mrs. Quake-r hit it off, talking about everything from work to pets. I was shocked. I had never seen my wife take to anyone like this before. Even after paying our bill we sat there conversing for quite a while. When Mr. Quaker was done his business conversation we spoke briefly before heading our separate ways. But not before making a sincere agreement to get together again soon. Little did we know that soon meant less then a week later.

The Quakers sent us an email two days later and asked us out for drinks the following Friday. We didn’t have anything planned and figure ‘why the hell not’. In the back of my mind I figured this was going to be just as awkward as the previous “dates” we had had. Sure the girls had had great conversation over breakfast but would they run out of things to talk about (in hindsight I’m still waiting for this to happen) or maybe Mr. Quaker wouldn’t mesh well with us. We had little time with him before and really didn’t get a feel for his personality.

Sure we were nervous. We always were the first time we went out with a couple but that was all quickly laid to rest. It was Amazing, the four us talked, laughed and joked like we had been friends for ages. Hours passed in what felt like seconds. Dinner, then drinks, and then back to their place. We all felt so comfortable that anything was possible. Leaving their house and racing home to beat the morning’s sun we realized we had plans with muggle friends in a few hours and we hadn’t slept. We were exhausted and needed rest. We got home and made two phone calls before laying our heads down. One was to the muggles regretfully cancelling our daytime plans. The other was to the Quakers. Thanking them for a great evening and asking what they had planned for the twilight hours of that day.

That meeting was a little over a year ago. Since then there have been very few weekends that we have not hung out with the Quakers. We have found an equilibrium between time spent with our muggle friends and our lifestyle friends. Sometimes mixing the two but being sure to keep our private time a secret.

The Quakers have become some of our greatest friends. We don’t necessarily play every time we get together. In fact, before this past weekend we hadn’t played with them in over 2 months. We all get to play with other people whenever we want to. We sometimes room together at parties or on trips but we are all still free to entertain as we wish.

Like I said before, I bring this whole tale up because of a series of recent events. While taking an impromptu trip with the Quakers this weekend we ran into another group of six friends much like ourselves. They all traveled together, went to each others family functions, and just generally had a great time. Each couple was free to do whatever or whoever they wanted but in the end they all had their “crew”. While talking to them I noticed the similarities between their group and ours. And it reminded me of an blog I had read written by a couple who goes by Deviant and BottomBitch. The article was called “Monogamy in the swinger world??” (http://frustrateddeviant.wordpress.com/2010/02/25/monogamy-in-the-swinger-world/) In it they describe how they are looking for a group of long-term friends and playmates that will still allow them to explore their swinger-hood with others. Well I’m here to tell them as well as all of you, that not only is it possible. It’s AWESOME!

~Jack

A Weekend that Doesn’t Go as Planned is Not Always Wasted

Wow what a weekend! As some of you know I’m the type of guy that likes to plan everything. I make dates and plans weeks in advance. (Very few times do I go as far as months in advance.) This weekend was no exception.

We figured we’d go out to our favorite “not so muggle” bar on Friday night. Then Saturday we would rent a room at a romantic hotel and treat our friends to a night out.

Well I took off of work on Friday to get some construction done on our new rec/play room. Along with the help from a few other we got A LOT done but after 10 hours without sitting down I was BEAT! Mrs. Cardz had talked to the male half of our favorite couple…let’s call them…The Quakers. (That name has nothing to do with Religion or Oatmeal HEHEHE) Anyway Mrs. Cardz and Mr. Quaker decided that they wanted to go to a steakhouse/strip club for dinner and a show. I know what you are thinking “WTF? A Steakhouse and a Strip club?” But the food there is surprising REALLY GOOD! They cook an AMAZING meal there. After a quick nap and a shower we were ready to go.

My wife’s new shipment of “toys” had arrived earlier in the day and the ladies decided they would be sporting vibrating panties for the evening. Let me tell you , the amount of power a person gets when they are holding a tiny remote that can get a woman off with the push of a button is intoxicating. Sadly both sets of panties were on the same frequency so either remote worked both vibes. Would have been fun to have them independent of each other.

The club and restraint were VERY quite because of a recent blizzard so we got to have a Fantastic meal, great conversation, and a little bit of vibrating seat play in peace. After we ate we stepped into the club where we played the weekend’s first game of “Pass the Remote”. We gave a remote to the Cutest Little Spunky Stripper who found SO MUCH join in walking around the club for about 2 hours getting our wives off and explaining to everyone she talked to what the little pink box she had was. (I’m going to leave that joke alone.)

Mrs Cardz’ vibe wasn’t sitting correctly no matter how hard she tried but it was a sight to see Mrs. Quake-r rolling in her seat while the stripper danced on the pole with the remote. We did leave the club after Mr. Quaker had to go personally fetch the remote from the stripper who had hidden it somewhere on her person. (Lucky Man!)

We hit up our favorite bar for a few drinks before it closed and we headed back to our respective houses. Saturday’s plans went all to Hell. Because of the snow storm and a few other reasons the other 4 couples we had invited to come out on Saturday cancelled on us. We had rented a room that had it’s own private indoor pool and hot tub but no one wanted to make the hour drive to get there.

It was Mr. Quaker who had the brilliant idea. We canceled our reservation and reschedule the trip for another weekend. We then travelled an hour in the other direction to check out a party we had never been to and knew Nothing about. By the Gods that was A LOT of fun. The ladies were rocking the vibrating panties again and no less then a dozen people took turns remotely diddling our wives. Quite often we’d look across the bar to someone pointing at us while holding the little pick remote and explaining to someone else what was going on. LOL!

The party itself was Great. The people were very open and friendly. They had a DJ in the main area with a dance floor, that was rarely not pushing max capacity, and a short walk away was a private balcony overlooking a muggle bar which had a battle of the bands going on. We danced, flirted, drank, kissed, and played the night away before retiring to our room.

Once there we finally got ourselves a piece of the Quakers. Now this is a couple that we talk to almost everyday. We hang out with them every weekend but for some UNKNOWN reason we haven’t played with them in almost 3 months. It was a very nice “reunion”…More on those two in a future post.

All in all the weekend was Amazing. Not even close to what we expected it to be. But better then I could have hoped. Moral of the story: Just because things don’t go the way you expect doesn’t mean they aren’t for the best.

~Jack

Mr Cardz (probably) Irrational Fear of Children

When I was younger I imagined my life to be much like my parent’s. Meet a great person in high school, graduate, get married, have a litter of offspring. For the most part I followed their example with a few exceptions. Mrs Cardz and I met while we were in high school we both graduated (me one year ahead of her) but then we both went to college. We would have gotten married while still in school but due to forces beyond our control that was not an option.

After college we both started our careers and eventually married. It was at that point and time that we decided to hold off on having kids. We wanted to establish ourselves in the working world and as a married couple. Most of our friends that we had had during our school years began having children while we were content with practicing our technique together.

This coupled with the fact that we were venturing into an alternative lifestyle has caused us to grow apart from those friends. However this new lifestyle has brought us closer to a whole new group of people. The only downfall I see to this is that our new friends (on average) are a bit older then us and most of them have already had kids. This thought alone gives me hope for our future but at the same time concerns me.

I’m, sure if you have been reading this blog, you already know that I tend to over analyze everything and this subject is probably getting the most of my worries because it is certainly life-changing and is currently a very real possibility. Mrs Cardz and I have been discussing having kids in the coming years. Neither of us wants to be “old parents”. We want to run around and play with our kids and live long enough to see them get married and have kids of their own.

Those thoughts make me smile it’s all of the other crap that goes along with being a parent that SCARES THE CRAP OUT OF ME! Like full on debilitating terror.

1) I like having freedom. I like being able to call up our friends and say “Hey let’s go to the bar” and 20 minutes later be at said bar. I know that kids will damn near put an end to that. Even if we do get the opportunity to go out we’ll have to find a sitter for the kids, pack them up, take them to where they need to go, and a plethora of other To-Do’s that I won’t know til it happens.

2) We don’t argue very often. Really we have very few squabbles and when we do there really nothing noteworthy. I see so many couple with kids that spend more time arguing then they do looking at their spouse. It terrifies me. I don’t like confrontation especially with my wife. Why inject that into our lives?

3) We enjoy sex. We like being able to have sex anytime and any place. The more I read and hear from couples with kids the more I hear about how they are the worst little cock-blocks you could have. Forget having an active sex life let alone one that has any sort of romance or passion. I have no interest in abstinence. Sex is just too big of a part of my life. And I don’t want the sex that we may have to be tired, lifeless, just do it to do it, sex.

4) Lastly, and this is where I get the “Asshole” moniker, I’m afraid I won’t be attracted to my wife anymore. Again this may be irrational. My wife is gorgeous. I think so on the physical, mental, and spiritual levels. She’s got a tiny bit of weight but that’s what I like. I look at some anorexicly thin girls and think “I’d break her”. Mrs Cardz can go punch for punch with me (sometimes literally) but still looks good in a two piece bathing suit. I’m concerned that, during her pregnancy and even afterwards, I won’t be attracted to her. Yes it may be shallow but it’s how I feel. I have fears that she will put on a lot of weight and not be able to lose it again. Or worse get so exhausted by the kids that she’ll have no desire to lose the weight. I have seen many women have kids and a month later they look better then they did before. I know my wife and I’m sure that won’t be the case. I know I’ll still love her and still me attracted both mentally and spiritually but I’m afraid of losing the physical.

These fears may not seem valid to you or may seem shallow but it’s how I feel. This is such a big step in our lives that I am bound to have concerns. The way I see it is the only way to conquer these fears is to actually face them and have kids but then it may be too late. It may cause our relationship to head in the wrong direction.

Who knows?

~Jack

Leaving on a Jet Plane

I know it’s not a very original title but deal with it. So tomorrow I leave on my first corporate trip. I have never had to travel for work before and oddly enough I’m on the fence about if I’m looking forward to it or not.

For the most part, I’ve been working for the same company for the last 9 years. I’ve had many different positions in that time but this is the first time they’ve asked me to travel more then an hour away. On one hand I am excited to get to see another part of the company and the country. Over the past few years I have made friends with people all over the country and I’m hoping that my corporate travels will give me the opportunity to meet a few of them.

On the other hand I’ve never done this before. Which isn’t a reason that would keep me from going, (I am an adventurous person) it’s just that looking at my itinerary it seems I am going to be bored more often then not. I have quite a bit of down time. Now I will probably take some time to see the city and check out the night life but some of my down time will not allow me to leave. Oh well we’ll see what happens.

I didn’t tell any of my friends in the destination city that I would be coming in. I figure for my first trip I’ll just focus on my work and getting to know the new processes. Plus since I have to travel with other co-workers it may be difficult to explain how I know some of these people.

I’m hoping that in the future Mrs Cardz will be able to travel with me. Certainly, not all the time but it would be nice to extend my stay in some of these cities into a long weekend and check out the local clubs and parties and meet up with friends we have never seen.

Perhaps this trip will give me some more time to write on this blog. Who knows?

When Night Becomes Day

Before we got married my wife and I had a group of friends that were always looking towards the net step in life. We all graduated from highschool together, went to college, met our “soulmates”, graduated college, started our careers, married our “soulmates”, had kids…..Whoa Whoa Whoa back up a second.

This is where Mrs. Cardz and I started to pull away from that gang. We realized that although this line of thinking was the “social norm”, it just wasn’t for us. We spent so much time looking to the future and the next “step” in our life that we realized we were letting life pass us by. Now that’s not so say we are against kids. If fact we may find ourselves working on turning our “Two of a Kind” into a “Full House” soon but it’s been a few years.

We’ve taken the time to branch out, learn new things and enjoy life. Where as the other six couples five couples have all settled down and now have toddlers a plenty running around we’ve been cruising parties and bars, dancing, and flirting; Learning more about ourselves and the world around us. That’s not to say our old friends didn’t enjoy a party or bar on occasion but more often then not everyone was home by midnight and the big parties were only twice a year. (Halloween and New Years)

Over the past few years we have found a whole new life, one that thrives and hides in the twilight. At the time when our previous friends would be heading home we have found that others are just getting started. There are times, whole weekends where we barely see the sun light. Where we race home battling Evil Grey, the hazy time before the sun breaches the horizon. Where the sky is not totally dark but the day has not yet begun. Big parties happen almost every week. And events we once considered exciting can not hold a candle to what we know today.

Society has no power when a person casts no shadow. We are all just beings. Nomadic creatures searching for life after dusk. Hand in hand we navigate the darkness and the warm life that feeds it. Our future is always on our minds however we rarely let it control our actions. This is the way we live and we’d have it no other way.

But I gotta, Kn-kn-kn-know What-what's Your Fan-ta-ta-sy

I once heard the question “If you live a lifestyle that allows you to experience your fantasies do you ever run out of things to fantasize about?” My answer to this is quite the opposite of what one would expect. Not only do you not run out of fantasies, I have more fantasies now then I did three years ago.

This lifestyle affords me the opportunity to see and do things I never would have imagined had I not seen or heard them first hand. With these new ideas in my head I am cable to morph and play with the scenario and come up with multitudes of new sexy and fun dreams.

A fellow newbie podcaster, wildflower (http://wildflowerthewildside.blogspot.com) listed out the experiences she has had and those fantasies that she would like to experience. Sort of like a sexual promiscuous bucket list. We’ll call it a Slut List. (For those who have not yet read “The Ethical Slut”. 1) GO READ IT and 2) Slut is a term of endearment) Anyway on to my Slut List:

- Threesomes, Foursomes and More-somes

Mrs. Cardz was the first real sexual partner I had ever had. Meaning before her I had done some soft play with other girls but not oral or penetrative intercourse. It wasn’t until after we got married that we started to explore our sexuality both with ourselves and other people. Since then we have had threesomes both MFM and FFM in many forms and fashions. Although there is one I would still like to try. I would love to see Mrs. Cardz give me head while being fucked by another guy doggie style. We’ve done this the other way around where I fucked her but I’d like to watch her face while she gets some in her favorite position. I’d also love to just watch Mrs Cardz in a FMF threesome. Get to see the whole thing from an outsider’s perspective. Like my own little porno.

In the case of more-somes, I love it when everyone is crowded together on one bed. I don’t care how cramped it is. It’s the aura or atmosphere that is intensely erotic in that situation. I’d like to have more play sessions like that.

I’d also like to have a Five-some. FMFMF. I’d like to have two couples and a unicorn. Throw all five people on a bed and pass the unicorn between us. Just sounds like a hot time for all.

-Location, Location, Location

There are a few places I would like to have sex. Some swinging some I’d rather have just me and my wife. The places I would like to have sex with my wife include a movie theater, in a sex swing, on the roof of a building (which is strange since I’m afraid of heights), and on the desk in my office.

There is something about the office sex fantasy. Might have something to do with screwing someone in the place I get screwed everyday. I’m joking. I truly think I have this fantasy because I spend more then 40some hours a week behind that desk. And some times it helps pass the time if

I eroticize the situation. Which includes my wife sauntering in a long trench coat, closing the door, drawing the blinds, opening the coat and she’s wearing some sexy lingerie…..mmmmm….oh yeah back to typing.

A few places I would like to swing at are a hot tub, a car, and an inflatable moon bounce. Both the hot tub and car I’ve sex with Mrs. Cardz in but I think it would be fun to fit two couples on in the front seat and one in the back and just have fun with the new environment. Mrs. Cardz and I are both fans of hot tubs and although we did some playing in the hot tub in Desire it was much too large to get a good mood. I’d like to get 3 or 4 couples in like a 10 person hot tub all just doing their thing.

The last location I listed was an inflatable moon bounce. Now this may seem strange to you however one of my best friends and favorite play partners had a fantasy of playing on a trampoline last year. I was more then happy to assist her in fulfilling that dream. We had a great time. Although we did find some complications that we think will be rectified in a moon bounce. So this summer we’re renting one for our joint birthday party. (More details as they arrive)

-Just Great Ideas

A few fantasies I have that don’t fit into either of the other categories include: Getting a dual blow job from two women in schoolgirl outfits. I went to catholic school all my life but I never really appreciated the schoolgirl outfit until I joined the lifestyle. Where as I have ALWAYS appreciated the dually blow. Put the two together and that’s one HoT fantasy.

Mrs. Cardz and I have not yet tried anal sex. I’d like to give it a go to see what it’s like. Although something tells me it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. (No Pun Intended) On the other hand it could be REALLY HoT. Only one way to find out.

I do have to agree with wildflower on one fantasy. The idea of taking a stripper home one night sounds really HoT! Figure you go to the club see her dancing. Like most people you lust after her. Which in essence is her intended goal but in the end you get the satisfaction of knowing she truly wants you as well. Sounds both gratifying and sexy.

And Lastly there are a few couples in this lifestyle that we have grown close to but have just not had the opportunity to play with yet. We’re hoping that one day soon the stars aline, the clothes come off, and the fun ensues.

Hope these ideas give you something to fantasize about and like I said this list will be adjusted and change over time. I’ll check in on it from time to time and keep you posted.