Friends in the Daytime Strangers at Night

A series of events lately has caused my to consider our journey in the lifestyle and it’s effects on our social life. Let’s turn back the sundial to three years ago. Mrs. Cardz and I had been together for 9 years. During that time we had the same group of friends. Sure people joined and faded from the group as time went on but the core was still the same. During a Very HoT summer wee took multiple trips to visit a couple from this group who had moved away because of business. Each visit became more erotic and more intense until we ended up as this promiscuous foursome, still part of the larger group better keeping to ourselves whenever we were together.

Sadly, the summer ended with an epic battle that would rival any of Greek or Roman mythology. Lines were drawn, alliances were made, and bloody was shed. (Metaphorically of course). When the dust settled Mrs. Cardz and I were left with “What The Fuck?!?” looks on our faces and a choice to make. We no longer felt connected to our friends. Their collective lives were taking them in a direction we had no wish to follow. We wanted to explore the world, our sexuality, and each other.

We set off to learn more about the swinging lifestyle. We still hung out with our muggle friends on occasion but in the mean time we were looking for more. Not knowing where to start we began by turning to the internet. We checked out articles, podcasts, and even a few dating sites. On occasion we’d virtually run into a couple that peeked our interest enough to meet them but nothing ever came of it. In fact most cases left us in awkward situations that we couldn’t wait to retreat from. We thus learned that “couples dating” was not for us.

Not sure what to do next, the strikingly beautiful Mrs. Cardz had the exquisite idea for us to take a vacation to a lifestyles driven resort. We found a group based around a lifestyles podcast heading to Desire in Cancun. We joined their forums and quickly became friends, even before meeting them in Mexico. This gave us lots of time to talk about our thoughts on the lifestyle, our hopes, fears, and fantasies. However, we had no one locally to share this with, other then each other.

We had an AMAZING time at Desire. We got to meet A LOT of cool people and try a few things we had been fantasizing about for more then a year. One of the couples we met there didn’t live necessarily close to our home but did travel to our area on occasion for hotel parties and promised to take us along the next time they went. We had a Great Time at the party but cut it a bit short because we had been flirting with this couple since we left Mexico and wanted to finally get a piece of them.

A few months went by and we began to drift away from our Cancun friends. We still stay in touch via the internet but without having them here (most thousands of miles away) we find we have less to talk about then the normal “How you doin?” And the muggle friends we had we could never have told them about our fantasies or what we did on vacation. In fact most of them don’t even know the true nature of our trip.

We decided to check out the party again. Figured we had been there before so we knew what to expect and we were at a point when we needed to get away and have some excitement. The night was great we had a lot of fun. We danced, we drank, we flirted, and we met a bunch of cool people.

Throughout this time we were happy with keeping our “little secret” hidden from our friends while we shared stolen hours of the night with people we rarely saw again. That all changed the morning after this party when we went to the hotels restaurant to replenish the vitamins we had lost the night before. After a few introductions and even more winks and nods to some other “early risers”, we sat down to eat with another couple. About midway through our meal a short and spunky woman, who we have previously referred to as Mrs. Quake-r turned chair towards us. Leaving her table and husband to discuss business which we could tell she was bored with.

Almost instantly Mrs. Cardz and Mrs. Quake-r hit it off, talking about everything from work to pets. I was shocked. I had never seen my wife take to anyone like this before. Even after paying our bill we sat there conversing for quite a while. When Mr. Quaker was done his business conversation we spoke briefly before heading our separate ways. But not before making a sincere agreement to get together again soon. Little did we know that soon meant less then a week later.

The Quakers sent us an email two days later and asked us out for drinks the following Friday. We didn’t have anything planned and figure ‘why the hell not’. In the back of my mind I figured this was going to be just as awkward as the previous “dates” we had had. Sure the girls had had great conversation over breakfast but would they run out of things to talk about (in hindsight I’m still waiting for this to happen) or maybe Mr. Quaker wouldn’t mesh well with us. We had little time with him before and really didn’t get a feel for his personality.

Sure we were nervous. We always were the first time we went out with a couple but that was all quickly laid to rest. It was Amazing, the four us talked, laughed and joked like we had been friends for ages. Hours passed in what felt like seconds. Dinner, then drinks, and then back to their place. We all felt so comfortable that anything was possible. Leaving their house and racing home to beat the morning’s sun we realized we had plans with muggle friends in a few hours and we hadn’t slept. We were exhausted and needed rest. We got home and made two phone calls before laying our heads down. One was to the muggles regretfully cancelling our daytime plans. The other was to the Quakers. Thanking them for a great evening and asking what they had planned for the twilight hours of that day.

That meeting was a little over a year ago. Since then there have been very few weekends that we have not hung out with the Quakers. We have found an equilibrium between time spent with our muggle friends and our lifestyle friends. Sometimes mixing the two but being sure to keep our private time a secret.

The Quakers have become some of our greatest friends. We don’t necessarily play every time we get together. In fact, before this past weekend we hadn’t played with them in over 2 months. We all get to play with other people whenever we want to. We sometimes room together at parties or on trips but we are all still free to entertain as we wish.

Like I said before, I bring this whole tale up because of a series of recent events. While taking an impromptu trip with the Quakers this weekend we ran into another group of six friends much like ourselves. They all traveled together, went to each others family functions, and just generally had a great time. Each couple was free to do whatever or whoever they wanted but in the end they all had their “crew”. While talking to them I noticed the similarities between their group and ours. And it reminded me of an blog I had read written by a couple who goes by Deviant and BottomBitch. The article was called “Monogamy in the swinger world??” (http://frustrateddeviant.wordpress.com/2010/02/25/monogamy-in-the-swinger-world/) In it they describe how they are looking for a group of long-term friends and playmates that will still allow them to explore their swinger-hood with others. Well I’m here to tell them as well as all of you, that not only is it possible. It’s AWESOME!

~Jack