The past few months have been a whole new level of CRAZY. That coupled with the fact that we’ve been keeping things “mostly” quiet because of the pregnancy hasn’t really inspired me to post anything new on this blog. That being said I’ve been keeping up on a bunch of other blogs; Living vicariously through their stories. Although some of the stories were a bit tough for me to understand.
Mrs. Cardz and I have always played together. Very few times have we ever played in separate rooms. And there has really only been one couple that we have felt comfortable enough with to go out on “separate dates” with. So when I read blogs about swingers who have turned to open relationships, where each member of the couple is free to date outside of the couple, I’m haven’t been entirely comfortable with the idea.
That’s not to say I disapprove. If nothing else this lifestyle has taught me that every relationship is different and that just because I feel something isn’t right for me doesn’t mean it’s not right for someone else. I know that and respect that. And this time last year I never would have considered seeing people outside of my wife or couples dating. However this past year has changed a lot of things for Mrs. Cardz and I.
With Mrs. Cardz being pregnant her sex drive has become non-existent. Everyone told me to expect a few lulls followed by a sexual spike towards the end. We’ve witnessed the lack of drive but are still waiting for said spike. I have been very patient and caring during this pregnancy. (If I do say so myself) So you can imagine my surprise when, last night, Mrs. Cardz told me I should go find someone to have sex with on the side.
She said that she knows that I have needs and although I’ve been really cool through this pregnancy she wants to make sure I am taken care of. She said that she has little to no sex drive any more and to force herself to have sex would just seem fake and she knows that I would pick up on that. She’s right too. I would never force my wife to do ANYTHING! And for her to force herself would just come across as a fraud.
So here I am considering my options, my relationship guidelines and my “morals”. Is this something I want to do? Is this something I can do? If I decide to go down this path who would I want to hook up with?
Considering the local women I have slept with that I could see sleeping with again I have narrowed it down to three. Our once unicorn is one. However after a strange situation this past weekend I think she’s off my dance card for a while. Mrs. Quaker is one. I know full well that the very generous Quakers would always be up for helping me out. The issue there is Mrs. Quaker and Mrs. Cardz share a brain and most likely a libido. I can almost guarantee that Mrs. Quaker’s sex drive has followed Mrs. Cardz’ suit. (Sorry Mr. Quaker) Considering that and the fact that live quite a bit away doesn’t really lend itself to a regular possibility.
The last woman on my list of possibilities is also a close friend. Her boyfriend has been trying to set us up on a date for quite a while. They live relatively close by and I know Mrs. Cardz feels comfortable with them both. The issue is scheduling. They both work weekends and some nights while we work during the week. We MIGHT be able to pry a window open to get out maybe once or twice but that’s about it.
My last option is to find someone new an idea that makes me more then a bit uneasy. I haven’t been on a “singles” date in over 12 years. I wouldn’t even know where to start. And trying to wind a person who not only am I attracted to and Mrs. Cardz feels comfortable with but someone who can understand and respect our position sounds Damn Near impossible.
I’m not saying I’m totally invested in this idea. In fact I may still be in shock from Mrs. Cardz bringing it up. I’m just running through my options, my concerns, and the possibilities.
Wish Me Luck
~Jack
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