HOLY HELL GOOGLE IS SLOW!!!!

I can't believe it! I finally have access to this blog again.

Long story short, Google shutdown my lifestyle email account. They said that I had broken their Terms but never told me what the infraction was!

So we went back and forth for months and they wouldn't turn my account back on. I finally just gave up. But for SOME REASON I decided to give it another go today and IT WORKS! (Obviously!)

I have a lot on my mind lately regarding the LS and our lives and I will definitely be blogging about them soon.

~Jack

I hate Christian Morality

Did the title catch your attention? LOL! Just shows how annoyed I am! A close friend and our long time unicorn...We'll now call her Elvira (more on her later) is donating some time next week to a charitable organization. Out of the goodness of this woman's heart she is donating her time to help out people in need. Now a mere 5 days before she leaves to fly off to the location they serve her with a Code of Conduct Contract!!!!! Now the charity that she is helping has Christian ties (which is obvious when you read the contract) and we all understand that there is a time and a place for everything. But is it REALLY necessary to have the people who are selflessly helping you sign a contract saying that they will follow what you believe to be moral.

I was raised Catholic. I went to Catholic school all my life. Which is probably why this shit bothers me so much. It is people pushing their morals and their agenda off on everyone else as opposed to allowing people to make their own judgment. Below is the contract Elvira had to sign followed by my revision. I have changed the names so that I don't get my ass sued but the rest of the content is verbatim from the "contract". Enjoy

ORIGINAL

Personal responsibility
When you join a BULLSHIT ORGANIZATION work team, we ask that you maintain a celibate lifestyle if unmarried or, if married, that you stay within the bonds of marital fidelity. Developing an inappropriate physical relationship with a host representative or members of your team has a negative impact on other work project participants. Such contact polarizes and distracts a team from its purpose, which is to develop strong and committed team dynamics capable of sharing the mission and ministry of CHRISTIAN CHARITY ORGANIZATION with each other and the host community. Every team member is an integral part of the experience, so invest in your team and together be love and faith in action. Respect your team by refraining from inappropriate sexual contacts or “field romances.” Spouses traveling together who find themselves wanting for normal marital relations, however, should be aware that adequate free time and privacy most likely will be difficult to obtain.

Please also remember that issues relating to sexuality in some foreign countries may be dealt with in ways that are drastically different from what you are accustomed to. For instance, some sexual acts are illegal in some countries, and a violation of these prohibitions may result in fines or imprisonment.

The incidence of sexually transmitted disease can also be extremely high in some countries. It is especially important to be culturally sensitive to issues relating to sexuality when dealing with children or the beneficiaries of work projects. Seemingly innocent or harmless physical contact may be viewed as offensive in some foreign countries. For instance, a simple gesture of affection, such as a hug or kiss, may be inappropriate within another culture. While your team leader and host coordinator will provide you with important information regarding culturally appropriate behavior and relations, you may also wish to consult other sources to ensure that you have a clear understanding of what type of behavior is acceptable within the host community.

MODIFIED

Sexual responsibility
When you join a Wildcardz play team, we ask that you maintain a hedonistic lifestyle if unmarried or, if married, that you not stay within the traditional bonds of “marital fidelity”. Developing a physical relationship with a host representative or members of your team has a positive impact on other participants. Such contact unifies and energizes a team and its purpose, which is to develop physical and sexual team dynamics capable of sharing the passion and excitement of Wildcardz with each other and the host community. Every team member is an integral part of the experience, so invest in your team and together be sex and passion in action. Respect your team by engaging in, what some may consider, inappropriate sexual contacts or “field romances.” Spouses traveling together who find themselves wanting for normal marital relations, however, should be aware that adequate free time and privacy will be available when they return home. This trip is exploring new things and new people.

Please also remember that issues relating to sexuality in some foreign countries may be dealt with in ways that are drastically different from what you are accustomed to, so feel free to indulge in all that foreign cultures have to offer. For instance, some sexual acts are illegal in some countries, and a violation of these prohibitions may result in fines or imprisonment so be sure to do them in secrecy. Remember what happens in secrecy stays that way.

The incidence of sexually transmitted disease can also be extremely high in some countries thus we encourage you to use safer sex measures. It is especially important to be culturally sensitive to issues relating to sexuality when dealing with children or the beneficiaries of work projects which is why this trip is adults only and the privacy of it’s participants is our highest priority. Seemingly innocent or harmless physical contact may be viewed as offensive in some foreign countries if those viewing the acts are not encouraged to join the action. For instance, a simple gesture of affection, such as a hug or kiss, may be inappropriate within another culture if not done with three or more people. While your team leader and host coordinator will provide you with important information regarding culturally appropriate behavior and relations, you may also wish to play with other sources to ensure that you experience all that the host community has to offer.

We hope you enjoy your time your time with the Wildcardz play team and tell all those uptight pricks who scoff our lifestyle to remove the Washington Monument size stick from there ass and go get laid.

This maybe a useless rant but Oh well I'm venting.

~Jack

Jacks Dilemma

The past few months have been a whole new level of CRAZY. That coupled with the fact that we’ve been keeping things “mostly” quiet because of the pregnancy hasn’t really inspired me to post anything new on this blog. That being said I’ve been keeping up on a bunch of other blogs; Living vicariously through their stories. Although some of the stories were a bit tough for me to understand.

Mrs. Cardz and I have always played together. Very few times have we ever played in separate rooms. And there has really only been one couple that we have felt comfortable enough with to go out on “separate dates” with. So when I read blogs about swingers who have turned to open relationships, where each member of the couple is free to date outside of the couple, I’m haven’t been entirely comfortable with the idea.

That’s not to say I disapprove. If nothing else this lifestyle has taught me that every relationship is different and that just because I feel something isn’t right for me doesn’t mean it’s not right for someone else. I know that and respect that. And this time last year I never would have considered seeing people outside of my wife or couples dating. However this past year has changed a lot of things for Mrs. Cardz and I.

With Mrs. Cardz being pregnant her sex drive has become non-existent. Everyone told me to expect a few lulls followed by a sexual spike towards the end. We’ve witnessed the lack of drive but are still waiting for said spike. I have been very patient and caring during this pregnancy. (If I do say so myself) So you can imagine my surprise when, last night, Mrs. Cardz told me I should go find someone to have sex with on the side.

She said that she knows that I have needs and although I’ve been really cool through this pregnancy she wants to make sure I am taken care of. She said that she has little to no sex drive any more and to force herself to have sex would just seem fake and she knows that I would pick up on that. She’s right too. I would never force my wife to do ANYTHING! And for her to force herself would just come across as a fraud.

So here I am considering my options, my relationship guidelines and my “morals”. Is this something I want to do? Is this something I can do? If I decide to go down this path who would I want to hook up with?

Considering the local women I have slept with that I could see sleeping with again I have narrowed it down to three. Our once unicorn is one. However after a strange situation this past weekend I think she’s off my dance card for a while. Mrs. Quaker is one. I know full well that the very generous Quakers would always be up for helping me out. The issue there is Mrs. Quaker and Mrs. Cardz share a brain and most likely a libido. I can almost guarantee that Mrs. Quaker’s sex drive has followed Mrs. Cardz’ suit. (Sorry Mr. Quaker) Considering that and the fact that live quite a bit away doesn’t really lend itself to a regular possibility.

The last woman on my list of possibilities is also a close friend. Her boyfriend has been trying to set us up on a date for quite a while. They live relatively close by and I know Mrs. Cardz feels comfortable with them both. The issue is scheduling. They both work weekends and some nights while we work during the week. We MIGHT be able to pry a window open to get out maybe once or twice but that’s about it.

My last option is to find someone new an idea that makes me more then a bit uneasy. I haven’t been on a “singles” date in over 12 years. I wouldn’t even know where to start. And trying to wind a person who not only am I attracted to and Mrs. Cardz feels comfortable with but someone who can understand and respect our position sounds Damn Near impossible.

I’m not saying I’m totally invested in this idea. In fact I may still be in shock from Mrs. Cardz bringing it up. I’m just running through my options, my concerns, and the possibilities.

Wish Me Luck

~Jack

What In The World Happened To You ~The Offspring

After reading Deviant’s post a few moment’s ago, I realized I have been horribly neglecting this blog lately. For that I apologize. With the summer comes a ton of family events and responsibilities, couple that with the pregnancy, the house remodel, and the increase in stress at both of our jobs, we just haven’t had time nor felt like writing lately.

Although INSANELY busy (the thought of which is giving me a headache) we have found time to have some fun. We went to a house party this past weekend. After the week we had had we NEEDED to get out. It was an Awesome Time! And our friends have a BEAUTIFUL house. The hot tub was going but Mrs. Cardz obviously can’t go in it. (Not matter how much she may have wanted to. We don’t want to boil the baby.)

Mrs. Cardz is obviously showing now and we got more then a few comments while at the party. The one thing we LOVE about this group is that they are SO easy going. Not one person made a negative comment about being pregnant and at a lifestyle event. (We have had negative comments before from other people)

We still go out and have a good time. We just don’t always play. I am a FIRM believer in going at everyone’s own pace. And Mrs. Cardz pace right now is to only play with a few of our closest friends. Which is fine by me. We’re not sure how much longer she is going to feel comfortable playing at all so we will do whatever (read: whoever) she is comfortable with.

Which leads me to a strange occurrence…I got a message from Mrs. Quaker this morning. Apparently they are without children this week and are interested in a booty call. I’m not sure if she had mentioned this to Mr. Quaker yet. (In fact he may just be finding out now as he reads this.) Seems they are going to come over one night this week. They help with the remodel a bit, than we’ll eat, shower, and …see where the night takes us. Since Mrs. Quaker and Mrs. Cardz share a brain I’m sure my wife will be interested but we’ll definitely be running this all past her first.

We have a few vacations coming up. One of which we’ve already started preparing for. (Yet another reason I haven’t written lately.) I’m also taking a trip to California at the end of the month for business. (Although I’m not against meeting up with some like minded people for drinks.) I’m leaving Mrs. Cardz in the ever attentive hands of the Quakers. Not that she needs someone to watch over her. It just worked out that she’ll be staying with them while I’m gone. (Have Fun!)

In other news I’m working on a new set of articles for Gentle Nibbles. Not entirely sure if the subject matter or style of writing will be worthy of their site but we shall see. If they choose not to post the articles on their site I will be more then happy to post them on here.

That’s all for now. I’ll try to write some more soon.

~Jack

Follow the White Rabbit

Mentally preparing myself to have a kid has been extremely difficult and internally conflicting. To the point that I don’t know if this post is going to make any sense or if it’s just going to turn into a jumble of six or seven stream of conscious thoughts.

I know that I do not fully understand the impact that this child will have on me. And I’m pretty sure I will not understand until it has already happen but some changes (which I’m sure will occur) I just can’t see happening at this time. For instance I was talking with a friend the other day. She being the mother of two boys had just gotten back from a day trip to some sort of Train Amusement Park and she said something along the lines of “That’ll be you some day.” I retorted that “Nah, I’m not a fan of trains.” Her response kind of irked me. She said “It doesn’t matter if you like them. If your kids like them then you’ll do it.” I quickly ended the conversation after she said that. Thinking to myself “Why would I do something that I don’t want to do.” Selfish, I know. But for the last 12 years it’s been Mrs. Cardz and I against the world. We have just done whatever we want whenever we want.

Now I don’t consider myself a selfish person but I can’t help but feel bad about my thought process during that conversation. Although on one hand I still agree with it. Now, I’m sure all of this will change once the baby is born. I’m sure thoughts of myself will fade and hopes for the baby will fill that void but I’m a bit afraid that that won’t be the case and that I will resent our decision to have a child because I can’t think about myself anymore.

Now the odd part about all this is as I am writing this post I am looking at baby furniture online, reading up on 2nd trimester information, and I just got done updating the website we set up to keep our friends and family up-to-date on the pregnancy. I know, I am one conflicted soon to be father.

I have little doubts that I could be a Great Father. I just need to learn to stop thinking about me and start thinking about others. Mainly my soon to be born child. I have always thought about Mrs. Cardz; Her feeling, her thoughts, her desires. And maybe that is because I love her. Maybe the reason I can’t take into consideration that baby’s feelings, thoughts, and desires is because I have not et met the little one to fall in love with him/her.

I have heard the adage that ‘Women become Mothers when they find out they are pregnant but Men become Fathers when they first see the baby’. And maybe this internal turmoil is what they mean by that. I care about Mrs. Cardz well being (that’s for sure) and the health of the unborn child but perhaps I won’t truly love the baby until it is born.

For now I’m going to go look at car seats. ;)

One conflicted and slightly scared Soon-to-be-Father

~Jack

Holy Hell Where Does the Time Go

I know in my last post I said that I would have less time to post on this blog however I didn’t expect there to be almost a month between posts. In actuality I only made that comment to cover my ass in case I did not find time to actually post. I didn’t expect it to really happen.

In any case life has been crazy lately. With birthdays every other day in the months of April and May, (including yours truly) I spend more time at my computer buying gifts then working on my creative outputs.

Along the lines of creative outputs I find myself rushing to wrap up a project I’ve been working on for a little over a year now. With the impending arrival of a Jack (or Alice) we have begun talking about a nursery and our plans for it’s design. Since we won’t know which layout to go with until we know the baby’s gender, I have a bit more time to wrap up my first project but my excitement seems to be getting the better of me.

Speaking of the approaching spawn, (Yes I know my thoughts are all over the place today) we had our first major doctor’s appointment yesterday. Looks like everything is progressing properly. Both mother and peanut are doing fine. We got a few pictures and the doctor was trying to point out the babies features on the black and white sheet of gloss paper however to me it looked like a photo taken of the moon from a DEEP orbit. In any case, I was VERY happy and excited to hear everything was going well.

One thing I did learn, however, is although this is going to be a long 7 months for me it’s going to be MUCH longer for our doctor. Yesterday was the first time I had met Mrs. Cardz’ OBGYN and it quickly became obvious that she can not handle my sense of humor. That’s not to say she got upset or anything. It’s just that I would throw my jokes and remarks out there to lighten the mood and EVERY TIME I caught her off guard and she’d lose her train of thought. Most of the time she’d just laugh and lose track of what she was saying but once or twice she’d literally stare blankly at me like her brain was trying to catch up to where I was. I found it hysterical! I have found my target for the next year. Hehehe!

Anyway I’m off to check on my wife. I’ll try and post more soon

~Jack

Two of a Kind Working on a Full House

The title to this post is also the title of a Garth Brooks song. While I am not a huge fan of country music as a whole I do like a few of Garth’s songs. This one included. Since we took up the name “The Wildcardz”, three years ago, the song has stirred visions of Mrs. Cardz and I as parents. And if you’ve read my previous posts, you know whatever joy I felt towards that mental image was quickly replaced with fear and anxiety.

So imagine my surprise, last week, when that little piece of foreseeing plastic broadcasted our fate and I had feelings of joy and relief. I am to be a father. Even now the words seem almost foreign but conjure emotions of hope and happiness. I have always been a cautious person. Preparing for the worst yet hoping for the best. But now that my fate is all but sealed I have found myself reacting not I as I had expected.

We spent most of last weekend hanging out with the Quakers (FYI Mr. Quaker has sarcastically been saying that he is legally changing his name to this pseudonym) and other lifestyle friends. Mrs. Cardz had been abstaining from drinking alcohol because she “wasn’t feeling right”. By Sunday the four of us had come to the conclusion that my wife was indeed pregnant. So much so that, we spent hours at the bar discussing baby-like topics. Mrs. Cardz and I, slightly overeager to confirm our suspicions, called it an early night and raced home so she could pee on a Nostradamus inspired stick and as stated before it was positive.

A few blood tests last week and a few more this week and the early signs say Mrs. Cardz has been pregnant about a month now, with the baby due in early December.

Now we have chosen to keep this all a secret to our families for the next two months. My family is currently plagued with a black cloud of infertility and we don’t think our news would be received with the proper amount of excitement. And since we are waiting to tell my family we have decided to keep it from hers as well. We also want to make sure the pregnancy is on track and beyond the usually turbulent first trimester. Because most of our muggle friends are deeply intertwined within my family we must keep the news from them as well.

To quench our desire to scream this news from the highest rooftop we can find we decided to tell some of our swinger friends this past weekend. Since this pregnancy will no doubt effect our play habits and obviously will keep Mrs. Cardz from partaking of the normal toasts and shots. At times I laughed to myself about how it is we are so comfortable with these people that we have only know a year or so that we rush to tell them the news before we even inform our own families. The bonds we have made in the lifestyle are just like that I guess.

Anyway, our crazy weekends filled with debauchery are sure to slow down as we prepare for this new arrival. I will probably also have less time to work on this blog. But we’ll have to wait and see. If my posts are something you have been enjoying I recommend you add this page to your RSS reader or become a follower. That way when I do find time to post you’ll be the first to know about it.

Also, although I am not a religious person, if you are I recommend you pray to your respective deity. Cause any spawn of the Wildcardz is bound to have an extraordinary impact of the world as we know it.

One Potentially Proud Poppa,

~Jack